An abuse victim turns to a Pentecostal preacher for help, gets blamed instead

Three years ago, I was homeless and an active member of a Pentecostal church. My only means of shelter came from a male church member who often paid for my stay at a cheap hotel. A few months after, he became homeless as well and we shared the room together.

The church knew of our dilemma and often helped sustain us. They donated food and one man paid for an entire week at the hotel for us upfront. They weren’t proud of us for sharing the same bed, but didn’t shame us for our circumstances right away.

The guy I shared a room with started to want compensation for his good deeds. At the time, I was unemployed, so he wanted sex instead of money. I told him no, I didn’t feel comfortable using my body as payment. Over a period of a couple weeks, he went from harassing me to physically hurting me. 

One night, we had an argument that ended with him snatching me by my hair and pinning me down with enough pressure that his fingernails drew blood. The next day, I counseled with our preacher and begged her for help. I feared for my safety if I stayed with him, but I was also afraid to sleep under a bridge since our town has no shelters. 

Her advice to me? Women are supposed to honor and serve their men. That guy and I had a dating history and he obviously still loved me if he was spending so much money keeping me afloat. Maybe if I had done what he wanted me to do, and we made it right in the eyes of the Lord, then he wouldn’t have hurt me.

Needless to say, that was the last time I ever went to church. – Name withheld by request